Hey Osama!

Hey Osama! by IraqPundit

"Long time no see! Caught your latest video, man. You know, we really need to talk, one Muslim to another.

Let me tell you something, Osama. It's really strange to hear you calling on people to convert to Islam, since al-Qaeda's specialty is butchering Muslims. Look at Iraq, where your brave followers show up with car bombs at schools, markets, and funerals to murder entirely innocent Muslim men, women, and children. And it's not like your point is to target Shiite "heretics," since the avowed purpose of al-Qaeda's slaughter is to goad Shiites into killing Sunnis. Maybe you want more converts to replace the tens of thousands of Iraqi Muslims you've murdered.

And what's the result of this brilliant Iraqi strategy? Iraq's Sunnis have turned against you. I see that every story in the Western press connects your video to the supposed reconstitution of al-Qaeda in Waziristan, but the connection that matters is that your nutty video appears as Iraq's Sunni tribes have become Bush's allies. Iraq's Sunnis are gunning your guys down and informing on their hiding places. Maybe you should record a video just for them, urging them to embrace Noam Chomsky.

I guess I should say something about your tax comments, because they sound pretty crazy to my Muslim ears. Is that why you think people should convert to Islam, because it would lower their tax burden? What would the Prophet say about such a message? As for your tirade against capitalism, don't you realize that after the early conquests, Islam spread by trade? The most populous Muslim country in the world, Indonesia, came to embrace Islam as a result of trade with Muslims. The fact is that Islamic culture was comparatively entrepreneurial, which is one of the reasons there was an Islamic Golden Age to haunt your dreams. If you want to know why that era of prosperity and learning is a receding memory, look in the mirror.

And speaking of mirrors, Osama, you look awful. Really, you should fire that colorist of yours. Because what he did to your hair, beard, and eyebrows is just criminal."